My muse, Sasha |
It seems I have always written. However, life got in the way and I turned back to writing some years ago. In 2000 I was selected by Northwest Playwrights of England for further development. Short stories and novels seemed to be the more practical route for me, however I do love theater and am certain had I lived closer to London I'd have had a go of it. I do enjoy writing dialogue very much. So that was a benefit I took away with me.
I enjoy writing horror, not too certain why the dark intrigued me but it always did. It did despite the fact that I was so happily married. Speaking of that, my husband encouraged me to go for it! He said to work at it full-time and so I did. It wasn't easy financially, but that is what I did. By 2010, I was really working hard toward publication.
My husband, John is gone now, suddenly taken from me and all who loved him in September, 2015. It is a terrible loss I will never fully recover from. But it's like anything else, you get used to pain. And yes, a person can live with a broken heart.
I, Bathory was the last work of mine he read. He read it just before he died. It was a manuscript then. It's dedicated to him. I think really, I go on working for him, knowing in my heart he'd want me to. The fun of it is gone, however. Although I can still be enthused about a new project.
I'm working on two right now. One is a novel that will reflect so much of the emotional pain and the need to find answers to questions that cannot really be answered. Of course there will be horror elements in it, that's what I write and it will, by its very nature, reflect the all too real horror of loss. A woman wanting to find out if she will ever see her husband again is vulnerable. There lies the story.
It will be the most difficult work I've done. It is already and I only started! I knew some months ago, way before I could even think about writing again, what I had to write about.
And so this journey of mine will continue for as long as I do.
You've made a wonderful and courageous comeback from your most personal tragedy, Carole. I know John would have wanted you to carry on and you've done so with great fortitude and resilience. Go for it young lady!
ReplyDeleteOne of the stages of grief that never gets talked about, is at the end, when you finally feel yourself moving forward with your life. You feel like you're leaving a huge part of yourself behind. That you're leaving your loved one behind. And, essential, you are. I can now understand why some people never get over their grief. It takes a lot to say that final good-bye.
ReplyDeleteyes, sorry! just saw this now. i won't ever get over it, but as you say you learn to move on. it's such a hurt thought. ironically it is now one year to the day we left on holiday and John was gone in 13 hours, 26 Sept. 2015. i am grieving badly tonight, but i will make myself as busy as i an as son as i can. and it takes more than i have righ tnow to say goodbye, but i will work toward it as it is the only way to go. there is no choice. thank you so much. i was too ill to be in touch truthfully. i just am busy most days as it distracts. wow, it's hard and i thank you and i very much admire you!
Deletethank you so much! young lady! oh boy. :) it's more difficult some days more than others. Amazing how it varies, but I do thank you and onward I go as best I can.
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